Listen Up

Alright, as I've been serial job hunting, I've neglected my writing. It's true. Something about having bills to pay and a future to provide for that causes me worry—which is not so good for the creative side of me.

That said, I've got a lovely writing partner who is so passionate and excited about writing that I've started feeling the urge to write again. We've got the same writing exercise book, so we each do the same exercise to see the different directions we go from the same prompt. It's definitely interesting. Thanks, Robby.

On the job front.... I found the job of my dreams. Rock Candy Media. Check them out. Now. Do it.
I applied to be their social media manager, which is right up my alley. I won't hear anything until Monday, which will be like waiting for Christmas, but we all have our cross to bear.

*Sighs*

Oh, here's the link to the Tumblr page I've been doing my exercises on. Enjoy.... or else.

Skills Without A Home

So, my collaboration with The Nerd Tribe has come to a sad end. I know that they will be super successful and highly profitable in the near future, but unfortunately, like the rest of the world, I've got bills that are due now.

When I got that job I thought I was ridiculously lucky to have found a job I loved to much, but now I think it set the bar terribly high and matching the level of enjoyment I got working there is going to be a tall order to fill.

And now I'm back on the hunt. I don't like hunting, but I do like the possibility to find another diamond in the rough. I've found one that feels like a good fit so far and I applied tonight, so let's cross our fingers and toes and hope that they feel the same about me.

Now, in regards to my writing... I've felt so stuck with which way to go: finish editing book one and send it out OR start something new. Editing has felt overwhelming since all the feedback from my classes, and starting something new has been hard since I don't have an idea to start on. So I thought I was stuck, but I'm realizing now that the answer is edit. Maybe I'm not supposed to start something new and that's why I'm struggling to find a new idea.
Besides, it's a terrible writing cliche—starting several books and finishing none—and who wants to be a cliche?

So, I have my answer.... A-editing I'll go.

Ever write a rather entertaining blog to have it disappear?? I have.

It's been a while, hasn't it? Well, not really, considering I just lost the 30 min of soul-pouring I just wrote before it disappeared. Anyway, the Gist was this: In the interest of transparency, I'm not sure if I've not been writing because of laziness, being overwhelmed after all the things I learned and was told about writing and publishing in my writing classes, or if I am simply afraid to fail. I found out tonight, that after next week, I will no longer have a job. They can't afford me at the moment. I suppose that's the issue with working with a start-up in its early stages. This is what has me thinking about writing. A was talking with a friend today, a fellow writer, who said he wished he was published by now. No shit, I thought to myself. That's every writer's dream. Isn't it? But it got me thinking. He and I have both fallen prey to the same issues almost every writer faces. Whether it's lack of motivation, not making the time, fear that it's not good enough, sheer laziness, becoming bored or any number of other excuses that we use to try and pass off as our "writer's block", it all comes down to the fact that by not trying, we are already failing. I didn't come up with that... I read it. Tonight. In this article that I saw when I opened Yahoo to read about people who're havin g as crappy a night as I was. Coincidence? I don't think so. Anyway... The point is.... I'm going to sit down and look at my first book. The only finished book: Oren & Avery. No matter how intimidating it will be trying to wade through every change, every scene I'm second guessing, every faux pas I've made and every cliche writing techniqe taunting me from the screen, I'm going to make some progress. I'm going to dig back in. And I'm going to get it done in the next couple months (hopefully sooner) and I'm going to send it out. Because having it sit, untouched, is worse than rejection... It's just failure.

Under a Rock

Well... it's been a while.

I've been away. Not just from here.
Maybe gone is wrong. More like... checked out.
Lots of chaos the last few months and it all got overwhelming. And one thing I've learned when I get overwhelmed: my creativity deserts me. . or more likely, is so stifled by the cacophony of mayhem in my brain that it, too, checks out.

I've not written anything since last September. Nothing that wasn't for a class—and even that ended in December. Not good.

But, things are starting to look up.

Things I've learned the last few months:

• Even though I feel more spiritual than religious, faith quickly became the one thing I held on to when faced with a life or death situation. —Interesting, no?
• When I had no idea how I was going to get through something terrible... I just did.
• I've never truly been as depressed as I have been since I found out Jax had cancer. Actually, I never knew what true depression was, until now.—Thank God for meds.
• Depression is EXHAUSTING! Literally!
• Once writing became something I wanted to do with my life, instead of something I did purely  out of joy and fascination, I made it complicated and got overwhelmed.
• Getting back into something once I've stopped is ridiculously hard.
• I've grown, as a writer, but now I'm struggling with what I have to say, what genre I'm drawn to, overcoming limitations I place on myself.
• That I try to box myself up into categories instead of believing in myself and what I want.. and just going for it.
• As I've grown older, I've lost a lot of the person I loved being. And THAT is the person people would love to read.
• I have AMAZING parents.
• I love my animals more than most people.
• I still feel like I'm meant to do something important... and bigger than I let myself believe.
• I'm still working on getting people to share their coming out stories and I'm still very hopeful about it!

Anyway, I'm trying to get back on track.. slowly but surely.
Now, I've just gotta stay awake long enough to do it...

Coming Out Examples Posted

Alright folks,
I have posted my coming out story up in the gray tool bar with the rest of my work. I also just posted Josh's, which is a really inspiring and touching story. I may add one more once I'm done editing, just to give people different ideas of ways to go with their story.
I'm getting really excited about reading everyone's story. It's crazy how similar everyone's stories can be. It really shows me what a close community can be formed by a group of people experiencing some of the very same things in life.
Reading the few stories I've received so far has also shown me that the whole idea behind this project—to let people know they aren't alone and that it does get better—is really coming through! I can't wait for more!
Thanks to everyone participating. It really means so much more than you know. :)

Hope to be reading your story soon!